Wedding Bells

Nick and Amy got married at the weekend - congratulations. It was a top few days, which went all too quickly. On Friday Nick came over for a relaxing evening before the stress of the next day. I didn't think the omens were good, as both Peep Show and Family Guy featured weddings going wrong. But theirs didn't!

The ceremony was at St Michaels South Hykeham and went really well. As best man, I checked that the rings were in my pocket 4 times a minute and thankfully I had them ready on time!

The reception at Hemswell was fantastic, sunny weather and delicious swal! I mean, lovely hospitality. It was great to see everyone together - the only problem being that it was so hard to spend time with everyone as there were too many people to stop in one place. The speeches all went down well - more of that later.

Finally, we had a great dance to such old time classics as 'size of a cow' and 'night train' - class!

The best ever holiday (was a disaster)...

The best holiday ever, was very nearly an absolute disaster. By rights it should have been.

My wife Charlotte and I honeymooned on a resort over-looking the beautiful coastline of Antigua. You can picture the scene: azure skies, lazy days on the beach, rum cocktails… After the busy wedding planning and the rush of the day, the chance to relax was wonderful. It was all going so well until the middle of the week.

Returning to our room, we discovered that we had been burgled. Not only was money missing but Charlotte’s engagement and wedding rings were as well. It was awful & upsetting but aside from reporting it, there was little we could do.

Determined to keep our spirits up, we travelled to ‘Devil’s Bridge’ - A natural chasm in the beach-rock under which the surf can be seen pounding.

We got too close and a wave roared over the top of the bridge, knocking Charlotte off her feet onto sharp rocks. We had to visit a roadside hospital to tend the cuts.

Returning to the hotel, we thought we’d keep a low profile. I went swimming in the sea keeping my ring safely on at all times. What an error! – within 5 minutes I felt it literally slipping off my finger. I couldn’t stop it. My face betrayed what had happened. I believe my lovely new wife may have swore.
Nothing else really happened. We enjoyed the sun, sea and company. So why should this be the best holiday ever? Well, aside from being firmly memorable (I will never forget the awful run of luck) it really brought home how close we were. None of the things that happened really hurt us. We survived and we felt closer than ever.

I wouldn’t recommend it though!

Wet Weekend

It has rained all through this weekend, making it very hard to enjoy the springtime. Case in point, wanted to go for a run yesterday - ended up getting soaked. Will probably catch pneumonia now. Probably. No cricket either. Boo.

Saturday night was fun though, a curry down at the Saga followed by drinks round at the Walkers- cue Nick riding a bike up to people's front windows and saying hello at 11pm. Still didn't prepare us all for Ted's latest game. From the man who brought you the 'Sly nudger' - I give you 'Cock or ball.' Words fail me!

Clint looked fairly dead when we left. It was the Clapham seabreeze that did for him. Its basically 7/8ths vodka - 1/8 crandberry with a twist of grapefruit.

Clint, if you're still with us. Sorry.

Bank Holiday Pub Crawl

Charlotte, Nick, Amy, Tom, Harrison, Jon and I formed a merry band of pub crawlers yesterday - determined to visit new pubs in the Lincoln High Street area. Dear me, there were some shockers and using our newly revised rating system we discovered that the best pub was the Ritz - which says it all really! However, the Golden Eagle was a good find and I can't think we'll have too much lasting damage from the lamentable Reindeer Hotel - just plain awful. When you walk in and the front door is smashed, the clientele have black eyes and the barman attempts to charge you £14 for 6 halves you know you're in trouble!

Full ratings will follow soon for posterity.

Highlight of the day was applying a tourniquet to different body parts in an attempt to create a corpse-like palour. I will never forgot Charlotte's bloated purple wrist as long as I live!

Heckington V Rustons

Sunday saw the resurgent Rustons take on Heckington and it turned out to be a great match. Batting first, we set a formidable target of 185 - with Noble and young Stu both scoring fifties. It was a great display of clean hitting from the pair who added on a partnership of 95 in quick time.

I managed to bowl a miserly spell, taking 4 - 8 off ten overs and we bowled them out to win by 100 runs. Really happy with my performance, although I have a sore back now - even two days later!

Wills Top 5 Stag Do Moments

Top 5

1. All the geordies thinking that Nick looked like one of the black and white minstrels fallen on bad times.
2. Nick dressed up as Majhu's dad in the curry house.
3. Nick dry bu**ing his mum's stuffed cat.
4. Nick docking with Jimmy five bellies.
5. Nick seagulling on the hotel bedroom window.