Not a bad game, bowled two overs and took a wicket. Amusingly enough, it was my sister's old ex-boyfriend so I'm sure she'll be pleased.
Took one catch and made 6 runs - not out as well. Always nice to start on a red-inker. Feeling in the groove though which is the main thing and I'm looking forward ot the first real game of the season soon...
Strangest thing was that I did go out whilst the bowler was on a hat-trick (see anxiety dream last week) but managed to keep it out - just!
Monday 30 April 2007
Friday 27 April 2007
Cricket Anxiety Dream
Had an odd dream last night where I was playing this 20-20 game at the weekend and I couln't get my pads on. I was fumbling with the straps and they sent out Ben Gore to bat instead of me (Ben Gore hasn't played for years). Then, when I did get to bat, they brought on this fast Asian bowler, who in the real world bowled me out in 1999 for his hat-trick. I was bricking it.
To top it all, Goldsie was in a foul mood and was threatening people again, which is a recurring dream of mine for some reason. Why am I having anxiety dreams about a non-competitive practice match?
To top it all, Goldsie was in a foul mood and was threatening people again, which is a recurring dream of mine for some reason. Why am I having anxiety dreams about a non-competitive practice match?
Wednesday 25 April 2007
Playing Cricket Again!
I'm nearing 30 now and just starting to think that I may not play cricket for England, ever. Duncan Fletcher getting the sack seems to be the final nail in the coffin! However, in my time I could bowl a fairly brisk pace and be relied upon to score between 4 - 25 runs on a regular basis. So I have decided to give it one last push and have a cricket season to remember, playing for my old team Rustons.
A few year's out of the Lincoln league scene have left me wondering whether I can still cut-it but having completed 4 net sessions, I reckon I'm getting there. Thanks to my mate Charmo turning out as well, there's a bit of impetus to get the head down and the batsmen out. First warm up 20-20 game is on Sunday 29th - so I'll keep you up to date. Unless I do really bad, in which case I'll delete this post and pretend it never happened!
A few year's out of the Lincoln league scene have left me wondering whether I can still cut-it but having completed 4 net sessions, I reckon I'm getting there. Thanks to my mate Charmo turning out as well, there's a bit of impetus to get the head down and the batsmen out. First warm up 20-20 game is on Sunday 29th - so I'll keep you up to date. Unless I do really bad, in which case I'll delete this post and pretend it never happened!
Tuesday 24 April 2007
Goldsie's Top 5
Right, here goes:
Top 5 in no particular order
1. The presence at various times of past and present th'imps managers on the stag (Big Keith on Friday night, Schoey in the press room at St James Park). I didn't realise Nick was so well connected!
2. Playing around with the Newcastle tactics board, with the result that the next time the Newcastle team went into their dressing room they would possibly be faced with the orthodox Imps formation of 10 up front and Mazza in goal!
3. Withstanding (kind of) the persistent attempts of the stag to stitch me up with all sorts of evil shots. Think he was more broken than me by the end!
4. The much needed KFC on Friday lunchtime after taking 3 hours getting to Lincoln due to spillage of raw meat on A14
5. The excellent humour/silliness/idiocy that went on for the duration of the weekend, especially that surreal hour with the drink in the box containing all kinds of filth!
Bottom 5 in no particular order
1. Looking up from reading News of the World TV guide to see flying vomit and Nick's head hanging out of the window. Not the nicest sight in the world!
2. Disturbed nights sleep on Friday due to some very unusual noises emanating from room guest Walker
3. Am still haunted by the thought of those minibuses with hen do's in on the way back from rafting. Especially the one with no teeth. Hideous.
4. Being quite scared by that rather large girl dressed up as a policewoman or something similar
5. The weekend finishing and having to return to work
Top 5 in no particular order
1. The presence at various times of past and present th'imps managers on the stag (Big Keith on Friday night, Schoey in the press room at St James Park). I didn't realise Nick was so well connected!
2. Playing around with the Newcastle tactics board, with the result that the next time the Newcastle team went into their dressing room they would possibly be faced with the orthodox Imps formation of 10 up front and Mazza in goal!
3. Withstanding (kind of) the persistent attempts of the stag to stitch me up with all sorts of evil shots. Think he was more broken than me by the end!
4. The much needed KFC on Friday lunchtime after taking 3 hours getting to Lincoln due to spillage of raw meat on A14
5. The excellent humour/silliness/idiocy that went on for the duration of the weekend, especially that surreal hour with the drink in the box containing all kinds of filth!
Bottom 5 in no particular order
1. Looking up from reading News of the World TV guide to see flying vomit and Nick's head hanging out of the window. Not the nicest sight in the world!
2. Disturbed nights sleep on Friday due to some very unusual noises emanating from room guest Walker
3. Am still haunted by the thought of those minibuses with hen do's in on the way back from rafting. Especially the one with no teeth. Hideous.
4. Being quite scared by that rather large girl dressed up as a policewoman or something similar
5. The weekend finishing and having to return to work
Thursday 19 April 2007
Lincolnshire School Words
Anyone who attended school near Lincoln will remember several words that are no longer used in adult society. Croggy anyone? And remember when you thought 'skill' was a good thing to show at football? Hah! it's actually a rare African bum disease and shame on anyone who agreed that they had it. Here follows a list that I can remember. So, if you go into a school now - you should be OK!
Ø Adamite - person associated with 'cool kid' Adam Wilkins. Names included Emmingham, Connell and Jackson
Ø African/American bunnyhop - A bike jump where one of the wheels lands first. African was back wheel first, american front wheel. Or was it the other way around?
Ø Backy - a lift on the back of your BMX
Ø Bealer - someone prone to crying. My brother Pete fitted into this category until he toughened up in year 8
Ø Bezzer, bezzed - Bezzer is a fat person, bezzed means to run fast. Strangely not related
Ø Chinned - to be punched in the face
Ø Chinny Reckon - Whilst stroking your chin, this expresses a suspicion that someone is telling tall tales.
Ø Chuddy - chewing gum
Ø Cob - throw
Ø Crag, crack - a game played against the side of RPS gym
Ø Croggy - a lift on someones handlebars - now outlawed by the nanny state
Ø Cropped - tripped up
Ø Decked - see chinned
Ø Dinner Bid - dinner lady, the sort who used to cart off people who had been smacked and could no longer walk
Ø Div - someone who's a bit thick
Ø Donkies - again, a long time. Mr Nelson has been giving me grief for Donkies Years
Ø Eggy Bernard - A smelly fart, named after Richard Burns - aka Bernard
Ø Endo - an easy BMX trick, where you slam on the front brake and your back wheel goes upwards - its like a reversed wheelie
Ø Eshed, Peshed - go really fast
Ø Fennies - kids from the lower areas of Lincolnshire - also know as fen monkeys
Ø Flobbed - to propel phlegm through the air
Ø Gillies - The beautiful and exclusive suburb of St Giles
Ø Gisberts - Drink
Ø Gleg - to look at
Ø Gos – to phlegm on someone’s head, particularly during a viscious playground scrap
Ø Grufter Grinder (see rooter hooter and rufter grufter)
Ø gyppo - a gypsie style child
Ø Hair Doc - indicates that subject needs to visit the 'hair doctor' i.e. point at Derry, laugh and sneer "hair doc!"
Ø Half-masts (J McPhail) - Very short trousers ending mid-calf, often prompting the taunt "who's died in your family."
Ø jars - cans
Ø Kerby - Genius game still played in Hykeham. Get a ball and stand with a mate either side of a road (the busier the better). Chuck it across and if it hits the edge of the curb and bounces back you get a point and a chance to try for a bonus point from the middle. Points were lost if you got run over
Ø Mardy - in a strop for some reason
Ø Munter - Ugly bird
Ø Nepis - Penis spelt different - a great way of insulting someone in front of Mr Pearson the art teacher without him knowing what was actually going on
Ø Nobber - a fool
Ø Nob-head - as above
Ø On-Klong - a 3rd years ankles in ridiculous platform shoes
Ø Ooking – really big!
Ø Peggies - BMX stunt pegs
Ø Peg-it - run away
Ø Pillage - A bit like the Eton wall game, but only played at 101 Dore Avenue
Ø Pleb - a game played on the triple slabbed concrete path to Asda. Whoever lost was a 'pleb'
Ø Preggers maldoon - a young lady with child
Ø Razzed - Go fast
Ø Roaring – to cry
Ø Rooter Hooter
Ø Rufter-grufter - all classifications of Derry's wind problems - which varied accoring to pitch, duration and wetness.
Ø Rush and Spider Keeper - means you don't have to stay in goal
Ø Sarnie/Sanger - sandwich. Often squashed flat, filled with crisps and consumed around 10.15 in the morning to give yourself a full run at footy during lunch hour
Ø Satched - to be completely soaking on a rainy day. Wearing a coat was gay
Ø Scally/schooly - a young (rough looking) girl/boy
Ø scoops - drinks
Ø Scran - Food
Ø Scutter - trampy, smelly person
Ø Skill - rare form of African bum disease, amazingly rife in the North Kesteven region
Ø Skiv, Skivvy - (J McPhail again) someone, or something really poor. To the point of destitution. Think Derek Brayfield
Ø Soz’ - a lazy way of saying sorry. Mr Hopkins - "where is your homework boy". Hicko - "Soz boss"
Ø Square - someone who could add up and everything by the age of 13 years old. Will Morgan used to call me a square which is ironic, as he now works as a management consultant for Accenture.
Ø Stinger - noun. game played with a tennis ball where the object is to pelt the ball as hard as you can at your mate, if you hit him, he then gets the chance to pelt it back, repeat until someone loses an eye (thanks for the memory Shep)
Ø Swede - head, particularly one that is enormous and round (think Gareth Bryant or Adrian Chamberlain)
Ø Uggers maldoon - a young lady who's fallen out of the ugly tree
Ø wang - To throw
Ø Wecky Scrubber - a lady of ill repute, low morals and loose virtue. From Westwick Drive
Ø Weg Head - an idiot
Ø Wembo - wembley football. Basically 20 lads all bear down on the poor sod who was nominated in goal
Ø Yonks – a long time
Ø Adamite - person associated with 'cool kid' Adam Wilkins. Names included Emmingham, Connell and Jackson
Ø African/American bunnyhop - A bike jump where one of the wheels lands first. African was back wheel first, american front wheel. Or was it the other way around?
Ø Backy - a lift on the back of your BMX
Ø Bealer - someone prone to crying. My brother Pete fitted into this category until he toughened up in year 8
Ø Bezzer, bezzed - Bezzer is a fat person, bezzed means to run fast. Strangely not related
Ø Chinned - to be punched in the face
Ø Chinny Reckon - Whilst stroking your chin, this expresses a suspicion that someone is telling tall tales.
Ø Chuddy - chewing gum
Ø Cob - throw
Ø Crag, crack - a game played against the side of RPS gym
Ø Croggy - a lift on someones handlebars - now outlawed by the nanny state
Ø Cropped - tripped up
Ø Decked - see chinned
Ø Dinner Bid - dinner lady, the sort who used to cart off people who had been smacked and could no longer walk
Ø Div - someone who's a bit thick
Ø Donkies - again, a long time. Mr Nelson has been giving me grief for Donkies Years
Ø Eggy Bernard - A smelly fart, named after Richard Burns - aka Bernard
Ø Endo - an easy BMX trick, where you slam on the front brake and your back wheel goes upwards - its like a reversed wheelie
Ø Eshed, Peshed - go really fast
Ø Fennies - kids from the lower areas of Lincolnshire - also know as fen monkeys
Ø Flobbed - to propel phlegm through the air
Ø Gillies - The beautiful and exclusive suburb of St Giles
Ø Gisberts - Drink
Ø Gleg - to look at
Ø Gos – to phlegm on someone’s head, particularly during a viscious playground scrap
Ø Grufter Grinder (see rooter hooter and rufter grufter)
Ø gyppo - a gypsie style child
Ø Hair Doc - indicates that subject needs to visit the 'hair doctor' i.e. point at Derry, laugh and sneer "hair doc!"
Ø Half-masts (J McPhail) - Very short trousers ending mid-calf, often prompting the taunt "who's died in your family."
Ø jars - cans
Ø Kerby - Genius game still played in Hykeham. Get a ball and stand with a mate either side of a road (the busier the better). Chuck it across and if it hits the edge of the curb and bounces back you get a point and a chance to try for a bonus point from the middle. Points were lost if you got run over
Ø Mardy - in a strop for some reason
Ø Munter - Ugly bird
Ø Nepis - Penis spelt different - a great way of insulting someone in front of Mr Pearson the art teacher without him knowing what was actually going on
Ø Nobber - a fool
Ø Nob-head - as above
Ø On-Klong - a 3rd years ankles in ridiculous platform shoes
Ø Ooking – really big!
Ø Peggies - BMX stunt pegs
Ø Peg-it - run away
Ø Pillage - A bit like the Eton wall game, but only played at 101 Dore Avenue
Ø Pleb - a game played on the triple slabbed concrete path to Asda. Whoever lost was a 'pleb'
Ø Preggers maldoon - a young lady with child
Ø Razzed - Go fast
Ø Roaring – to cry
Ø Rooter Hooter
Ø Rufter-grufter - all classifications of Derry's wind problems - which varied accoring to pitch, duration and wetness.
Ø Rush and Spider Keeper - means you don't have to stay in goal
Ø Sarnie/Sanger - sandwich. Often squashed flat, filled with crisps and consumed around 10.15 in the morning to give yourself a full run at footy during lunch hour
Ø Satched - to be completely soaking on a rainy day. Wearing a coat was gay
Ø Scally/schooly - a young (rough looking) girl/boy
Ø scoops - drinks
Ø Scran - Food
Ø Scutter - trampy, smelly person
Ø Skill - rare form of African bum disease, amazingly rife in the North Kesteven region
Ø Skiv, Skivvy - (J McPhail again) someone, or something really poor. To the point of destitution. Think Derek Brayfield
Ø Soz’ - a lazy way of saying sorry. Mr Hopkins - "where is your homework boy". Hicko - "Soz boss"
Ø Square - someone who could add up and everything by the age of 13 years old. Will Morgan used to call me a square which is ironic, as he now works as a management consultant for Accenture.
Ø Stinger - noun. game played with a tennis ball where the object is to pelt the ball as hard as you can at your mate, if you hit him, he then gets the chance to pelt it back, repeat until someone loses an eye (thanks for the memory Shep)
Ø Swede - head, particularly one that is enormous and round (think Gareth Bryant or Adrian Chamberlain)
Ø Uggers maldoon - a young lady who's fallen out of the ugly tree
Ø wang - To throw
Ø Wecky Scrubber - a lady of ill repute, low morals and loose virtue. From Westwick Drive
Ø Weg Head - an idiot
Ø Wembo - wembley football. Basically 20 lads all bear down on the poor sod who was nominated in goal
Ø Yonks – a long time
Tuesday 17 April 2007
Derry's top 5 stag do moments
"Morning kids. I think the best have already been covered so here are a few more
Top 5
1, Got to mention getting tipped into the Tees, brilliant
2, Mooning on the A46 (now standard stag-do procedure)
3, All mentions of Giraffes
4, One for Clints car only - Flat Eric VERY loud and caravan based discussions including the Charmo Gyp0wag0n 69 or whatever they were called.
5, The tour Doris not knowing where the Intertoto Cup was!
Top 5
1, Got to mention getting tipped into the Tees, brilliant
2, Mooning on the A46 (now standard stag-do procedure)
3, All mentions of Giraffes
4, One for Clints car only - Flat Eric VERY loud and caravan based discussions including the Charmo Gyp0wag0n 69 or whatever they were called.
5, The tour Doris not knowing where the Intertoto Cup was!Worst 5 (or 3 actually)
1, Ted raking my back
2, Clint's snoring
3, The mystery snot that occurred during rafting - where did that come from!!!"
Monday 16 April 2007
Ted's top 5
"Top 5
1, Nick's drunken logic and failed attempt to stitch up Goldsy.
2, The barmaid's pleasant and welcoming attitude in 'Chase', bit of a 'Plain Jane' type though.
3, My hero moment when I saved 5 people from drowning (should really be at number 1 but I am being modest).
4, The 'Foot of Smirnoff Ice' vase/glass.
5, The sense of freedom gained on the release of my hairy(ish) con*ers.
Bottom 5
1, Shep missing out on some of the fun because of his curry hell on Friday the 13th.
2, The bus flasher.
3, The words 'oh no' and the rush of wind as Nick opened the car window.
4, The b*tch who bumped my motor outside St James.
5, Scottish football."
PS - Have you soon this ball?
1, Nick's drunken logic and failed attempt to stitch up Goldsy.
2, The barmaid's pleasant and welcoming attitude in 'Chase', bit of a 'Plain Jane' type though.
3, My hero moment when I saved 5 people from drowning (should really be at number 1 but I am being modest).
4, The 'Foot of Smirnoff Ice' vase/glass.
5, The sense of freedom gained on the release of my hairy(ish) con*ers.
Bottom 5
1, Shep missing out on some of the fun because of his curry hell on Friday the 13th.
2, The bus flasher.
3, The words 'oh no' and the rush of wind as Nick opened the car window.
4, The b*tch who bumped my motor outside St James.
5, Scottish football."
PS - Have you soon this ball?
Shep's Top 5
Not bad re-collection, seeing as the man spent 80% of the time with crippling stomach pains...
"The never-ending pint
Clint pissing himself (literally) three times whilst rafting
Caravan spotting and making up our own names for them
The bare-arsed parade as we passed the minibus full of dori
Male voice choral accompaniment to Derry's Dangermouse ringtone"
And the bottom...
1. Losing Joel's teddy on the fast lane of the A1(M) - may he rest in pieces.
2. Getting a phone call from Hicko at 2am on Sunday morning and being foolish enough to answer it - I'll regret that forever.
3. Curry Hell One - feeling like I was going to puke.
4. Curry Hell Two - nauseating stomach cramps for 24 hours.
5. Curry Hell Three - the burning ring of fire, it burns, burns, burns and the flames are getting higher.
Hicko's Top 5 Stag do moments
As best man for Nick Feltham's wedding, I'm suffering. Just back from Newcastle with a sore foot and sore throat. Can't help but feel that they may be related; maybe I tried to eat my own leg? Here are my top 5 (I was going to do 10 but thought I might exhaust everyone's lists)
Falling in the Tees
The singing musical pint box and the mysterious lady therein
Greco-roman wrestling
Meeting the Lord of Harpole
Nick's Jester's shoes
Bottom 5:
Nick's bowels
Shep's bowels
Clint's bowels
Ted's nudger
The pile-on of doom
Will publish others as they come in!
Falling in the Tees
The singing musical pint box and the mysterious lady therein
Greco-roman wrestling
Meeting the Lord of Harpole
Nick's Jester's shoes
Bottom 5:
Nick's bowels
Shep's bowels
Clint's bowels
Ted's nudger
The pile-on of doom
Will publish others as they come in!
First Blog
Well, here it is. A new blog and I guess you're wondering why? Well, I want to share. Share the benefit of my experience, show off my knowledge and make people laugh. Will it happen. I'm guessing not. I give it 5 weeks max and I'm not that big or clever. But you never know, you might find some nice pictures, a mention of yourself or some amusing cheese. Who can tell?
My life includes (honestly):
Birds, Comedy, Cricket, Lincoln City, Church, Guitar playing, Drinking with friends, Gardening,
Running, Holidays, Films and most importantly - my lovely wife Charlotte (aka Candy)
Check in for potential fun... coming next - Lincolnshire school words and Nick's stag do!
My life includes (honestly):
Birds, Comedy, Cricket, Lincoln City, Church, Guitar playing, Drinking with friends, Gardening,
Running, Holidays, Films and most importantly - my lovely wife Charlotte (aka Candy)
Check in for potential fun... coming next - Lincolnshire school words and Nick's stag do!
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